I Miss You.

You're still not in my arms.
Still not in this house, in
your bed, I'm unable
to tuck you in every night.

{Why are you not in my arms?}

You're another year older
today, another year I missed
all your important milestones.

I've been sleeping in your bed,
baby boy. Because it helps me
feel closer to you. I still haven't
changed Thomas. I don't know if
- I ever will.

I'm sorry I'm not what I should
be, or what you need or want.
I'm sorry I'm missing out on
so much, every second of
every day.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I can't be there for you;
I'm sorry they wont let me. I'm
sorry I can't explain to you why.

I'm sorry I'm not the
mummy; that you deserve.