by Everlasting Jul 26, 2015
category :
Life, society /
meaning of life
Open your mind |
This poem and I are at odds. Here is why: I adore the message, its the mantra I live by, however, if it wouldn't cause any offence, i would advise you to reformat the poem to be central rather than to the left, it makes the poem and the message feel too boxy, like the truth that all frail minds try to avoid by boxing it in. Perhaps that was your intention, but I'm of the opinion that such a strong poem about real truth being illuminated and set free, should in turn reflect the message in its format, I feel that the format weakens what is in essence a brilliant piece. Fix this up, set the poem free and I will set my 5 vote free ;) other than that elongated rant, i loved this |
by Everlasting
Good advice, though I usually just write without paying attention to the format. . . the format forms on its own as I write, it's free... |
by Ben Pickard
Excellent poem, excellent message and well written |