Setting.

by Poet on the Piano   Jul 28, 2015


What secrets do you keep, do I seek
when sun is setting in my veins and the
blood in the future has already dried
on my hands.

You are my locket; I cage you inside
to use for later, when I'm not within
holy walls and angel eyes can turn
away.

As I stumble out of this church that
has been too forgiving too often, I write
one last letter on a small torn-off parchment:

"please forgive me, God".

-
Written 7/28/15 @ 7:41 PM

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Sunshine

    The title! That was catchy and well thought of, thought this was going somewhere different..(1st impression).

    The verses are well fabricated, as in sentence structure and metaphors. Your opening verse was vague in a very positive sense. And your closing phrase was a surprise and not what the reader would really expect.

    There is a lot to be praised in regard of your imagination in this piece, so really well done with your wording and thanks for sharing.

    Good luck!

  • 9 years ago

    by GB

    Your imagery is mind-blowing, "the sun sitting in my vein", enchanting in every sense, and that melancholic tone through out the poem, it makes the reader following your words eagerly to know what behind these sad words/thoughts.

    I just wish your title was "please forgive me, God". I don't think "sitting" was a good title for such great writing.

    Very enjoyable, MaryAnne.

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