Behavioral Health.

When everything, and nothing, scares you.

When you know you'll know about everyone's diagnoses soon and that there's no point in hiding.

When you're asked the dreaded question, "what brought you here?"

When the nurses check on you every 15 minutes. What you're doing, where you're at, what you appear to be feeling.

When you praise God for any time outside, even seconds, to feel the sun on your face.

When you stay silent yet cry inside because you don't know how to deal with all these emotions.

When a complete stranger becomes your friend in less than 24 hours. Young mom, vibrant blue eyes, freckles, curly blonde hair. Leaves you with a scrap of paper reading, "keep your head up... keep smiling."

When you laugh so hard about a nurse who looks like Tarzan, and you can't stop pumping your fists to your chest.

When you get cross-eyed from trying too hard on cross word puzzles, because you just need something to do.

When the nurses block Law & Order on the public television, and everyone tries to plot revenge.

When you realize you gossip as much in the common room as the nurses and techs do.

When you can't understand why the doctors never come in on a set schedule.

When the pizza and lasagna smell and taste like elementary school cafeteria food. And they both give you heartburn.

When you constantly comment, and complain along with everyone else, about how it feels like you're living in Antarctic, and you should start seeing penguins soon.

When you're not embarrassed about not having make-up on, or even being dressed half-way decent, or even being half-way sane.

When you find you can actually smile about the silliest things. And that you have a twisted sense of humors like all the rest.

When you hate your temporary home, yet find comfort in its safety.

When you feel "ready" to leave, no more bad thoughts, no more triggers, but now you have to step out of the bubble and face problems. And people.

When you say to yourself, "I've got to start looking for new answers."