Comments : Deprived

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Whaaaaaaat the heeeelllllll?!?!?!!?!

    OMG thats so freaky!!!!

    Mouse in a bucket!

    • 9 years ago

      by Chelsey

      Hahahahahhahahahahahaha right????????

      Totally freaked me out too!!! #mouselife

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I love it when you write about love, but I hate it when its sad.....

    Firstly, it is heartbreaking to read, particulary with events of late and also because I know you and don't atall like the idea of you feeling this way.

    "I could almost swear it was yesterday's sky that was azure, but
    that must've been someone else's world. For my sky has been
    coated in layers of filth for months. In the distance, there is no
    horizon that I can see; there is no sun to either rise nor set. "

    ^^^^^^Right here makes me wish I could swear in the comments box, to feel almost like you've been fooled or worse fooling yourself is gut churning that coupled with the injection of nature, especially the Sun, really hits the wound with a handful of salt. When the reality hits that there isn't a future with someone you open your heart to it is almost indescribable.

    "You were the source of all light in my world and your exit leaves no
    thermal covering on my skin-
    I'm cold without you, baby."

    ^^^ this is where the lump in my throat choked me.....ugh

    This poem made me well up like a littleB****
    and I will actually echo something you said to me, When you mix nature in your Love poems it becomes something that is so emotional and personal and real the reader cannot help themselves but really feel what they are reading.

    This is a killer Chels, it needs no breakdown or explanation really but I want to comment and recognise it.

    #Mouselife

  • 9 years ago

    by DarkLight

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    5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Really deep write Chels, and there is so much contrast in your words between the darkness now and the light that was, that really shows up clear.

    You have used great metaphors and I especially like this one here:

    You were the source of all light in my world and your exit leaves no
    thermal covering on my skin-
    I'm cold without you, baby.

    - I think it exposes the raw emotion that is inside, and why these words are being shared. Such a sad line here!

    You must've misplaced the picture of our future in your mind,
    because it use to be the reason you got up every morning;

    - because it "used to" not "use to"