My Ink

Hello Pal,

It's a very interesting write. It's totally about feelings of faith. Both segment is telling the great meaning of love.

A good write.

I was drawn in by the title of this piece, and the category. I had a pretty good idea of what this poem was about and how it was going to be done, but still was pleasantly surprised.

I have to admit, the punctuation and grammar can be improved a bit, it's detracts a bit from the poem. Also I found the usage of 'thy' to be a bit out of place here because everything preceding and succeeding it feels 'modern', and my personal belief is that old english words should be utilized when the poem itself is using mostly old english words, i.e shakespearean way, there's also a poet on here by the name of Ben Pickard that uses it quite well. That said, it's just my opinion on it, understand why you chose to use it. Also, 'Intense' after soulmate seems out of place, I recommend dropping it. Reads much better in my opinion.

All in all, enjoyed this!

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Here's a possible revision of the current poem, so that you can see how punctuation, grammar and formatting can be altered:

----

"As I shall write these
words, numbers, hieroglyphs,
know that my
pen, feather, quill
shan't convey
any truth or meaning
without thy
ink.

As I shall speak to thee,
friend, soulmate, intense,
know that my
heart, belief, existence
shall be
null ,nothing
without thy
love."

What a beautifully written piece with a great deal of creativity.
The penmanship in this piece was so loving, emotional, and oozing with your feeling that gripped me right away.
Loved it, beautiful stanza's with a solid foundation of words that played off each other.
Keep it up!
5/5

Rsan,

This is beautiful and original. Such a refreshing piece.

Em

Beautiful write!