These Butterflies Will Never Die

The birds once sung in harmony,
lying in a field of flowerbeds where we were dreamers, believers in l'amour vrai.
Unified the same way swans are when in love, but now only vultures peck the debris of memories.
Harmonizing the insanity echoing in my mentality,
multiplying my asininity, failing day by day.
Inadequate to comprehend,
ignored her requests, a vexation of ignorance that's me.
Eyes sewn shut, ears corked, my hands possessed;
these idle hands never cease to lull the cyber chatter.
How pathetic is it I can't stop them from coming to a grinding halt?

I've become a constant qualm,
a thorn in her side.
Overbearing in my affection, a storm cloud hurricane of destruction;
silent tears come into sight, flooding out of her chestnut chocolate eyes
cascading against her olive cheeks weeping in despair as the river overflows.
She suffocates because of me,
metaphorically trapped in an hourglass, turned upside down unable to breathe.
Exhaling air, inhaling a sort of ecru sand corroded in its texture, capacity batting her lungs all because of me.

Where did things go wrong?
My fragile heart is on her sleeve splintering, bleeding, and I'm pleading.
I may be chutzpah but my paucity of respect for her space is gadfly as a mosquito yearning for sweet crimson claret.
Disgusted, embarrassed, and ashamed by my actions
I've dug my own grave with each impetuous word escaping from my mouth as my tongue lashes out;
hastily trying to recapture and wolf down the word vomit like alphabet soup
but it's always too late and now I must lay in this shameful state
burying myself inside this grave.

I'm giving this my everything
but my foot needs to come off the gas, this isn't Speed Racer alas
I've been locked on the finish line for far too long.
Acting like a kamikaze pilot anticipating the crash,
this self-destruction must surcease.
I've got to let go, give her the space to flourish on her own.
It doesn't mean we'll never be unless I continue to torture her psychology;
it's a sense of hysteria, a bone-chilling dilemma she's in.

I will take my guilt-ridden bow out of her life.
Apologies can't suffice due to the interminable round-the-clock asphyxiating questions,
bombarding her like vicious carnivores stalking their prey.
This isn't a game,
it's a life!
I'm truly sorry and shamefaced.
Forgetting we all need time alone to sprout, thrive, and grow.
I'll let her escape, to run, to finally be free,
no more this anchor called 'Justin' will weigh her down;
the last thing I want is her to drown.

I'll always believe we can make it,
I'll fight forevermore from a distance.
Don't give up on me, don't give up on us, don't give up on love,
or the universal twin flame contract agreed upon from up above.
I'll keep dreaming and praying
we'll connect again in this life or the next,
a bona fide love eternal and true,
my heart and the key is given to her.
Till the sun sets in the east and rises in the west she'll have all of me.
For you Emma,
these butterflies will never die.