You can cuddle me from the biggest distance,
I would still feel the comfort and safety of your touch.
.
The openning sentence was attractive, kept me wanting to know what next.
The sunshine in your eyes
makes every morning bright and hopeful,
and for that I am grateful...
but I must apologise in advance for my heart
and the ways it will soon hurt you.
You went ahead to paint a picture to the reader of the features of this person you write of,
how you feel about it.
which really added to the openning making it a piece by itself
It is too scared of the road ahead,
scared of believing promises
that the past has proven
to be too good to be true,
too out of reach for me.
Your heart is scared of what is expected, really turns the reader to another route, For in the lines before, you had described this person as the best but here the twist dawns on me giving the title a meaning now.
My heart is shutting down
because it's not prepared
to watch you leave -
and deep down
it knows you will.
After all that i sure have the information of why you not prepared for what is to come.
Great write.
I enjoyed. the flow is good and the use of words is super upper.
I love it.
That's how i understood it.
Hope i got the message.
9 years ago
by Ben Pickard
I love the approaching doom that the very layout suggests in this piece - it just descends and spirals further into bleakness.
Excellent