Plastic Smile

Each morning we meet,
you always ask how am doing,
not that you care
but since it is a formality.

So today I will lay it down for you
to decide what you think am doing.

Today I woke up not wanting,
for I think the God I serve bailed out on me
He hasn't answered to any of my prayers lately
and now my heart is flooding with anger and frustration.

I have been rendered casualty of his making,
not sure why I have to live a day further
but I find myself hoping that everything will be okay.
Should I change my way of thinking?
Maybe my perspective of life and God is wrong
and all I need is to take a step back and observe what life is like from a far.

I have never been righteous,
always making mistakes and so they call that sins
How am I to know where to stand if the life manual we call Bible is so twisting.
Yes I may believe in all that is written,
Old and New testaments are no match.
I will drown in my own cry,
just to see if I will die.
Until I hear from the God I pray to,
will sit here and wait for death to read me a bedtime story.