Breaking Down

Ah Angie my heart is breaking!! What a horribly sad and beautiful poem! I guess we all have days like this. Especially the tough cookies who are always doing the uplifting for everyone else. Miss your writing. Miss being here! Just was thinking I needed to come check everyone out again! Hugs!

Angie, an emotional write

Breaking Down
^^
The title says what it needs to. We all have these times I feel that we could break down. Mind, body and soul perhaps.

So many emotions
spiraling through my mind, my body
some so very uncomprehendable
^^
This opening stanza is a real eye opener as in that many of our emotions can be built up time and time again then BAM we bend and break because its all got too much.

I am exhausted and the break down has begun
^^
This here adds more to the piece and breaks it up nicely. We all become exhausted and in out times its easy just to break down, we do it best as a human race. I feel.

you see....
^^
I like how you added this in separately because it seems to add to the gravitational downfall.

It would be wonderful, if just once,
someone would be there for me
instead of me
being there for everyone else
^^
Yes, it would be good wouldn't it. Its hard when we are there for everybody else but in our time of need nobody is there.

I can only be strong for so long
this rock has crumbled
I am now but a mere pebble
and these fake smiles
are getting really tiresome
^^
I have been at this point. The fake smiles do become very tiresome indeed but they put people off for awhile even ourselves. Being a 'mere pebble' in this breakdown is very powerful because you feel small even belittled but strong and you have been that for some time. The metaphor of being a rock is good because they are strong but after awhile they too can erode - or break.

But all I can do at this moment
is sit here and try
to put these thoughts to paper
through the blurred vision of tears
^^
Again a very powerful stanza of emotion. Its hard when we finally break and the only thing we can do it write through tears.

Written well and its ok to slip every once in awhile aslong as you know how to get back up. (hugs)

EM

Hello Angie,

I think I commented on this, but then due to IT issues it was lost to the void up there *looks up and shakes hiss head*

Title - it says what it means, in as much as a mind and body which has reached its limit. Like my car, too many miles, not enough servicing and suddenly it comes to a halt.

Stanza 1 - I like how you describe aptly emotions spiralling (I think you may have a typo with that word?) anyway, like a pot of bubbling liquid - too much added substance becomes unmanageable

Filling lines - The explanation, clearly defined. 'I am tired and all I can do now it 'breakdown'

The 'you see...' adds gravity to the impending doom...

Stanza 2 - It is like listening to a desperate plea; not to anyone who is listening, no, for that would mean someone cared. Instead, a plea said out loud to oneself. I can almost see the tears of frustration and thoughts within said to a deaf room.

Stanza 3 - I like the metaphor - a rock, a strong substance that can be lent on for years...but, even rock 'crumbles'. The reduction of self is well demonstrated in the word 'pebble' instead of erosion taking many millions of years, your pebble of self has taken your lifetime. The routine of wearing a mask is something many can relate to. Put on a smile and pretend all is well. Well, it is not, far from it!

But all I can do at this moment
is sit here and try
to put these thoughts to paper
through the blurred vision of tears
Stanza 4 - Again, the image is clear - thoughts too painful to keep within spilt onto a page. Will anyone hear, anyone care??

Angie, I am glad you wrote this. It clearly shows that your mask is slipping, so you need some 'me time' if you are unsure of how, just ask me.

Take care,

Michael ((hugs))

Ang I think one of the biggest mistakes us giving people do is not be transparent. We bottle things inside and wish someone would come to our rescue yet they have no idea anything is even wrong because we think we have to keep it together all the time, I assure you we don't.

I'm just really glad to see you writing and expressing yourself again as poetry is always there for us and even though it doesn't have a voice, it releases what we need to get off our chest.

Love you.

Xoxoxo

I know you have this little voice inside of you that tells you that you have to be string for everyone else, hold everything together, hold everyone up, and paint on those smiles for everyone to see.

But...

All I can say is that I am so glad there is also a tiny little voice inside of you that still comes back to writing, as I feel it writes out the honest truth that you do not hide and finally release.

And as long as you know that you are NEVER alone, then it is okay to wake up and not put on one of those smiles!

You are such a strong person, and just remember, even angels fall xxxxx

Hugs xxx