I have been avoiding the topic,
almost as much as people ask me about it.
I don't want to be one more Disney character.
One more black woman,
romanticizing a relationship
with the colonizer. with the oppressor.
Can't make room in my poetry for
anything that once hurt my people.
For the reason I was pushed out of my own homeland.
Pero, esta maldita cosa es tan linda.
Like, oh my god, but I swear to god.
That this damn city is carving its
way into the dip of my collar bone.
I feel myself falling, as if I meant to
imitate the leaves now that its fall.
like I'm watching the change of a season
for the first time, and I can feel myself forgetting
to reason.
I swear I have never felt
so invisible yet so beautiful
at the same time. They don't
care I exist I know. But oh my,
this wind. this peace. the noise
of the streets. the prices on grapes
and strawberries. the tall neat men.
this has done something
to me. I thought there was nothing left
to steal. but this place literally
ripped my heart out of its cage
---------------
(esta maldita cos es tan linda)
translates to "but this damn thing is so beautiful)
