Comments : Ibis

  • 9 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hi Chelsey,

    Great description of a storm building. The clouds resembling tidal waves create a powerful image. Add to this the sky turning dark and everyone fleeing...
    Except the Ibis bird.
    ^
    I like the courage of such a small bird facing the
    hurricane off. This display is an example that no matter your size or confidence level we can step up and face our own personal storms. Be brave: be the bird!

    Well done, I enjoyed this.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 9 years ago

    by Koan

    I must admit I have never heard of this bird and I have to thank you for enlightening my ignorance!!! Your poem is great
    and grabs the reader right away.. A brilliant nature poem. If I may say something though:

    "Run. Hide. Take cover-
    the world screams as they flee."

    Wouldn't be better to go like this:
    Run! Hide! Take cover!
    For the world screams as they flee.

    Enjoyed the read, thx!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Hmmmm...... I didnt want it to finish....

    You know I like angles in poetry, different avenues and messages that can be taken from this piece.... Ohhh yes I love this!!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Wow chelsea.....

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Shouldn't have read this at work....:/ I will be back tonight to comment properly ugh .....damn you woman.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Chelsey,
    This really is a stunning write and I will nominate it when I get my votes boosted later! The imagery and language employed throughout this piece are hypnotic. Well done indeed!
    Ben

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Ok so im back.....again ....

    I have re-read this piece a few times over and, as always, your write with such a voice that it is impossible not to sit up and listen to it.

    Totally agree with syrup on this...I didn't want it to finish, not at all :/

    On the surface, an awesome Nature piece full of strong language and imagery that holds the attention of the reader right to the last period.....and then after too.

    I also LOVE the layout of is write, your language for me is ALWAYS spot on but your punctuation and format in this piece is as strong as the write, you control the reader effortlessly.

    Then you have the message running through it, strong and relatable...and to be honest....a great description of yourself too...you are strong and have had storms of you own to ride out, which you have done an came out of a stronger and better person for it......I like this poem for many reasons but especially that one :)

    OK one last thing to add.....

    "to decline the pursuit to safety?

    I am brave.
    I am noble.
    The last to leave.

    I am mornings first sight of victory."

    WhAt ThE hElL wAs ThAt???????????

    It is the perfect ending to this piece and is almost like a poem within a poem!!!!

    This is why you rock and this is why you own what you write, everytime.

    Epic write love ;)

    EDIT: Obviously Nominated.

  • 9 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    This poem is delightful! I can picture the Ibis standing in the marshy estuary, watching as all the other creatures scatter, perhaps snatching extra goodies because of the lack of competition now.
    Great lines:
    "What can mere trouble do to one that is brave
    enough / to decline the pursuit to safety?"
    and
    "The last to leave. / I am mornings first sight of victory."

    Not just a paen for fortitude but a convincing nature study as well.

  • 9 years ago

    by Princealexander

    This reminds me the poem of Russian poet and writer Maxim Gorky "The song of the Stormy Petrel".
    One can find its English translation in Wikipedia.

  • 9 years ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    Very beautiful and inspirational! This is the first time I've heard of this bird and after reading this, I hope it won't be the last :)

    "sounds erupt from the belly of the sky. "
    ^
    I absolutely adore this line!

  • 9 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Extremely inspiring. The poem has life embedded within it. It's like a thriller scene.

    The idea of Ibis's soul and traits reflected thought these few lines is very touching, and leaves the reader with thoughts on bravery and strength.

    Your closing line must be my favorite, it was very strong and full of impact.

    Sometimes we find missing human traits in the most fragile creatures.

    Loved this poem. Well done and thanks for sharing.

  • 9 years ago

    by Maher

    This is awesome. And that means a lot coming from a guy that lives in a country where Ibises are practically a plague. They've taken over nearly every tree and haven't left the windshield or paint of any car unscathed. But I digress.

    Great job with this one. Incredibly well thought out and built strong and solid :)

  • 7 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Wow...just blown away by how beautifully you captured the essence of life in reference to the bird. Love it.