Jumping Ship

by JaneDoeWrites   Oct 6, 2015


You said you were
terrified of open water;
but when offered a life jacket, your
feet shifted in the sand and never
once moved to stop mine from
pushing off your banks.

Instead, all my ropes fell lifeless
in the water.

Soul mate, whom
I found sea worthy,
you watched me drift away;
your hesitation was the
wind in my sails pushing me toward
the foreign soils of The Undying Lands,
while I uselessly rowed against
the unforgiving current.

But I dropped my oar,
when from the shore I watched
your fingertips curl back.

I am an aged captain,
mateless and adrift alone,
clutching onto a compass as broken
as the waves against my hull.

When all I ever was in search of
was for a place to drop my anchor.

I have pinched letters
into emptied rum bottles,
I have kissed them with
trembling, pitiful lips,
and watched them

s
l
o
w
l
y

float

away.

    report violation
4


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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Holy Crapola.....FLAWLESS!!!

    Crystal this is simply breath taking, My favourite of all your writes, your execution was simply perfect!!!! o.O

    Your word choice and tempo was wonderful, you created so much imagery with your metaphors my senses are just fried, it is such a moving write and I'd like to thank you on this one for sharing. . The format yet again and your use of punctuation just added to the atmosphere and blaaaaaaah!!!!!! Epic freaking writing.

    As Chels said WOW WOW WOW

  • 9 years ago

    by Chelsey

    This got my last nominated vote.

    WOW WOW WOW.

    I want you to know this poem is so worthy of being broken down and given a proper lengthy comment, but I can't even do that.

    I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you that I think this is flawless and completely bomb how you maintained the same metaphor throughout this piece and never got tacky or cliche, it remained perfectly heart wrenching.

    Flawless for real.

  • 9 years ago

    by BeautifulSoul

    I am also happy that you started writing again hon!. You never fail to write with your truest feelings inside metaphorical words. This poem brings a tear to my heart because I know the story behind this poem and it makes me sad. Honestly I am very happy that you got this out in poetry form for all the world to see. I would also nominate this because well it is that damn good, I hope someone will nominate this though. Stay strong because you are loved :). 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Good to see you writing again, Crystal - this site is a more talented place with your poetry on it. I would nominate this but am out of votes already!
    Your use of metaphors and your description is , as ever, truly wonderful. The ending of this piece is especially moving. Well done and all the best,
    Ben

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