Comments : Sticky Sunshine

  • 9 years ago

    by BeautifulSoul

    Out of all the people
    I have ever tried to lock away,
    I just can't seem to leave you behind,
    and I wasn't expecting that.

    ^ There is so much power in this stanza to me and it says so much. This person means a lot to you as a friend, and even though you try to push them away, they will always be there for you. You were not expecting to see how much they mean to you, because you have been hurt in the past. but despite everything they are there for you, and you them.

    It's like you gave me a risk assessment,
    to see if you could fix what's broken,
    and suddenly you became the sunshine
    that shone through my clouded window.

    ^ Love this stanza, it also says a lot and it continues well from the first stanza. THis person wanted to fix what was broken inside of you and without really realizing it, they became a big part of your life, I love the use of "clouded windows" because that tells me depression has hit your life. but they were the sunshine that helped you overcome that.

    I'm trying to believe that you are right
    and they are wrong,
    sometimes I think I really do.

    ^ This is a positive spin on things and proves how one person can change a persons life. You were trying to buy into the positive things this person was saying and your past leaves you having doubts about everything

    And I thank you for helping me
    become strong enough to carry on,
    and for being beside me
    with every single step I take.

    ^ But here This person really means a lot to your life and they have changed what you think. Overall I love this poem because of the positive throughout the whole poem. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Saffie,
    I think James has about summed this one up, hasn't he? But, like he, I love the positivity throughout this piece.
    Well written and all the best,
    Ben