In the night
when the rain falls
in sheets of white and black
and innocence couples with shame
to shine against the frozen time,
I hold a knife
to my wrist
staring calmly,
the serenity almost too much.
An intention to make myself bleed
the way you do
(Mallisa)
the way you do
(Cassie)
the way you do
(Allie)
the way you do
(Emma)
the way you did
(Allison)
never crossed my mind.
I want to relate.
In the shine of the blade,
I see my reflection,
the tears streaming down my face
and the dissolving hope that happiness will come,
that you won’t think your cuts are beautiful,
maybe you will learn to see what you stare at,
feelings won’t keep causing this terror,
and the scars will heal
so the long sleeves can be cut short,
not your lives.
I wonder how this pain makes you feel life
when the sight of the blood shows me death.
Living zombies now,
the royalty of life’s darkened surrealism
let the inscriptions fade,
let the pain pass,
stay with me…
