You held her hands ever so gently,
Whispered that you love her into her ears,
I wonder if you know that,
I have been in love with you all these years.
I gaze from afar every morning in school,
Knowing that I would always be just a friend,
For your heart belongs with another girl,
Until I can forget I will continue to pretend.
You caressed her cheeks in front of everyone,
Twirled her hair and hugged her close,
Smiled your special smile just at her,
To all your friends about her you will boast.
My smile is a fake, put on for your sake,
I cry inside when I see you with her,
I hate this me but I can't help it,
My feelings for you have became a bother.
Hating myself for being weak,
For falling deeper each time you are near,
Hating myself for being jealous,
Of her for being the one you love and fear.
Fear that she would be sad and scared,
Fear that she wouldn't sleep well at night,
Fear that she would be angry or disappointed,
Always you would turn up as her knight.
I hate myself for not forgetting you,
My heart is still with you though you do not know,
I really don't mind loving you in silence,
What breaks me down is when your love for her shows.
Hating myself more and more every day,
As I keep failing to keep my feelings at bay.
