Hello Cindy,

Firstly I must say how lovely it is to see you posting poetry again.

This strict form shows your talent hasn't gone rusty. The dark imagery is terrifyingly vivid. The alliteration pokes deep into my mind and rattles like tail of a cobra. All this wrapped up in excruciating pain.

All in all a wonderful chilling piece.

Well done Cindy.

Take care,

Michael (((hugs))) xx

What a superb, dark piece this is Cindy. I wasn't around when you were prominent on the site before, but as Michael says, great to see new work from you as I can see on your profile, your last piece was a while ago! This site needs as many people active as possible - and talent such as yours shouldn't be spared the limelight!
All the very best,
Ben

I'm glad you posted it. It's a great piece. I really like the dark atmosphere.

Nicely done! Glad you're writing again!

It's great and very refreshing to see you writing poetry again, Cindy.
This is a very well written Tanka.

Take care and keep posting :)
Samia

I liked what you did with this Cindy, you have created a dark environment filled with scary feelings and all within a strict form. Congrats on the win!

So well written in nice form .
Cindy you are so talented.
Take care .

You give sadness a new depth with this write..
~hugs~

Cindy

this is a powerful tanka...

Its great to have you back..

take care!

So good to see you writing after such a long time, really missed your poems. Time for me to try writing & make you all suffer again :)

Initial line itself had the punch & the rest just followed smoothly but with restrictions & that's what make it more beautiful.

all the best & take care

Cindy, I won't remark on the form as I have little knowledge of most of them. Great to see you writing again. With your poem you can feel the anguish and hurt of losing a loved one. Lovely write despite the category. Love ya.

Hi,

This piece is written really well. It seems the voice of this piece is fear. There is something about when a loved one is away all of our nightmares seems to stay with us. I get "nightmares" from how you used screams, it seems like something you fear or something from your past is haunting you and the only person that can "save" you is away. Or I think it could be read as, because this person is away they are the one who is haunting you. When we feel sad there is always a hint of loneliness that becomes part of us. "Evil darkness" is a great way to describe nightmares and feeling alone as well. Overall you did an excellent job in writing such a powerful piece in such few lines. 5/5

From this poem I can feel great pain and sadness. A deep wound in poet's heart grieving the person she loves so much. Marvelous writing.

What a wonderful tanks. So powerful and full of pain and desolation.