How has absolutely no one commented on this yet? It's beautiful - this section especially:

"I spoke in fragments, coffee just a
nightmare on my lips as you tried to
pour me drugs and caffeinate my heart.

I offered you no creamer. You drank
your coffee black, harsh, jagged like
your love."

I love how this wasn't about the actual drink at all, but rather one giant metaphor for a person/ideal/moment (I'm really not sure which because I can understand all three perspectives). The detail is beautiful and I love how you used the words from the list as imagery while creating your own substance and emotional pull for the poem.

The title definitely has a neat pull and opens up a world of questions and the entire piece left me thinking, which I feel makes for the best kind of poem.

Although, I do have to ask, if it's just me or if the first stanza seems a little too different from the rest of the piece; like for a split second there's a disconnect that distracts the audience from the rest of your piece and beauty?

Such a departure form the other offerings. Your dependence is felt as co-dependence, despite the apparent fact he has you motivated to keep going: "my up when I / wanted to dig myself a grave"

But sometimes mere attention is not enough, it can be cloying. When the other wants to keep you unchanging, static ("you tried to / pour me drugs and caffeinate my heart") you must find a way to break out, to finally find that drive to find your true love or your true calling, or perhaps just a better cup of Joe.