Comments : Piano

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Noor,

    I hope you don't mind me tweaking your poem a little...

    Piano:
    Melody keeps go on and on;
    I keep playing
    Even though the hall is empty,
    The audience gone.

    I keep playing;
    candle flame keeps dancing,
    the only reminder of time;
    All else is stopped now
    For this moment is
    forever.

    And as I read notes,
    the melody goes on and on
    Music lives within myself,
    Sad and beautiful
    Just like, life itself.

    And I keep playing every night
    Until my eyes fall asleep...
    I continue, ever will I suffer;
    This is all I will do every night
    Until I find you there, listening to me...
    ^
    Noor, this is just a suggestion. You can choose some, all, or reject them all. I love this piece and realise English is not your first language, so I hope the lines translate alright.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by NOOR

    Thanks Michael. I shall edit it as soon as possible.