Its for the days the city ignores you so hard you don't even know whose body you're living in. The days you seem to have become another fall leaf on the ground to everyone else. A shadow, a shell, a whisper. When the walk to the house from the bus stop looks more like a tunnel than a road and you never accelerate your pace because no one is waiting anywhere. Its for these days that you remember being 13 and your body changing and everyone looking. Everyone having something to say. How you clinched your fist both in shame and in rage wishing they'd shut up already. You remember being 16 and out of rebellion telling your mom that one day you'll be so far away from her, she won't even know what you ate that day. its for being 18 and crying in the living room, telling yourself that if you hold on tight enough, you'll soon wake up in a place no one will act like they have to carry your weight. You grow out of things, the same way you grow into missing them.
I guess what I'm meaning to say is that sometimes, we throw wishes out there unaware that the minute we do, stars align to make it happen.
I literally spoke all this silence into existence and although I'm grateful for it.
They are days I wish it wasn't this loud.
