Ceilings

Great idea and it got me thinking. Walk outside when you are dying and see the sky and the trees - let that be the last thing imprinted on your mind - not a ceiling!
Great write. All the best,
Ben

Simple but emotional write. I like how you started with the "ceilings" and the significance behind that. It's a very dismal beginning as I imagine the times when I stare at a ceiling, in bed, trying to fall asleep, peaceful. But here you introduce the end.

The depth in this is intriguing. While there's no specific event you describe or tragedy, I can feel a sadness that's so heavy. You don't know why, you don't have anyone who sees you cry, there's almost a guilt perhaps? It makes me think of a man taking his life, leaving behind pieces of himself, of what was going to happen, of the warning signs. All that could be prevented but sometimes we don't see it and we can't blame ourselves. The question about the ceilings makes me think there are multiple "deaths"? Not physical ones but ones we imagine in our minds, behind our eyes...

One suggestion would be to not capitalize the beginning letter of each word on each new line. I personally don't see the need for it but it's up to you as the author, if it's your style. I also would encourage you to try formatting your poem, separating lines, creating stanzas, or even using dashes or "..." for effect. You could also take out some filler words or verbs in the process. Such as:

"Ceiling - the last thing
one stares at when he dies,
printed before he closes his eyes.

No more daydreams
no more wishes.
Summer leaves
grasses dry
burned to ashes (infuriating)

November rain soaks my soul
as no one knows I cry.
Lord, please why?
Ignored signs and warnings
and premonitions left behind.

I wonder how many ceilings
are printed in every person's eyes,
like the squirrels and the ants.

Before I die, I'd walk outside
where ceilings can't trap me,
only the heavens and the skies
printed before my very eyes."

Just an idea though :)

Thought-provoking piece. Keep writing!