I don't write love poems

by Brookie   Nov 10, 2015


I've been breathing alone for what seems like ages now,
Solitude and work being my only friends.
They've been by my side since I could first remember
And honestly, I'm scared to let them go.

Did you know it was going to come to this?
That you'd barge into my life and confuse me...
I knew who I was and what I was worth
But you insist that it's not the case.

Maybe that's why I reserve that little word from you,
What if you're just another mistake to wear
On my already covered up sleeve...
Maybe you're more then my insecurities though.

You've been breathing next to me for over a week now,
And things are changing in my life faster then ever,
Honestly I'm scared shitless of what this might turn into;
I might be leaving the old world I'm so used to.

I guess I just wanted you to know I don't write love poems,
I let the sadness reach maximum capacity before I let go
Of all the words that have been boiling inside of me.
They pour out, scolding, burning up anything I touch...

You know I don't feel as alone when I'm with you
And my shadows seem to vanish when you're around
While I struggle to try to convey this feeling inside.
Was this always here or is this something you put inside me?

Did you replace loneliness with friendship
And sadness with something that feels like love
Or did I somehow always have the ability
To feel something more then false hope...

I think I'm scared to write you a poem because
What if the poetry I write for you isn't as significant as
The sadness I've kept inside me under lock and key?
Even worse what if it's greater then anything I've written before.

If I was to kiss you right now would things change?
Would I go back to being alone and reading in solitude?
My books don't feel like home anymore and honestly
I'm starting to doubt they ever came close to that...

I know this is a little long winded and I might not know
What love is in the actuality of what I believe,
But I'm willing to retake steps that I've long abandoned years ago,
And ill relearn what I knew when I was a little younger

I'll relearn what it felt like to have hearts skip beats
And what it is like to fall without a parachute
Into something that is far too scary to enter alone,
But only if you promise me you'll do the same...

I've been questioning since day one..
Could this be love?

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    I really liked this piece because it speaks many truths about finding a new love you don't want to go in with your heart wide open because then you'll get hurt again but you want to go in with an open heart or you'll never love again, right?

    You show how lonely you have been in these line- 'I've been breathing alone for what seems like ages now,
    Solitude and work being my only friends' because to me it's like you go to work day in day out and that's it, like nothing else matters.

    I like the change in pace near the middle because at the beginning it was slow yet steady and set that lonely, sombre mood but then it picked up much like a beating heart would when you find that love you have been waiting for.

    This stanza-
    'Maybe that's why I reserve that little word from you,
    What if you're just another mistake to wear
    On my already covered up sleeve...
    Maybe you're more then my insecurities though.' is a full of emotion and I feel the reservation of the word love on your part has made a huge difference in your life because it's stopped you getting hurt more times. The link to there being a burden reminds me of the quote 'don't wear your heart on your sleeve' because it gets us hurt. I feel the then should be than like in this line 'Even worse what if it's greater then anything I've written before.'

    Linking love to falling out of a parachute at the end is really good because as you say it's scary to go into love when it's one sided, my interpretation anyway.

    All in all, a good write and enjoyable read.

    Em

  • 9 years ago

    by Once an Angel

    The opening line was brilliant: "I've been breathing alone for what seems like ages now". What a clever and refreshing way to capture being alone. And then you nailed it again with the repetition of the line later, altered,"I've been breathing alone for what seems like ages now."

    There was so much tender, and relatable about this re-learning to love, poem.

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