I remember reading some of these when you had them posted before but...I'm not sure how I interpreted them back then so..it will be interesting to see if it's similar.

There is a certain madness in this verse (please don't be offended) I just get the feeling of agitation between the lines. I think this is about someone who is fighting hard to overcome depression...like life is very difficult and each day is a fight for survival. Interesting verse and...hopefully I will slowly work my way through the others haha!!

should minds eye be mind's eye?

I've been meaning to have a look at these poems for a while, Darren. I think I was actually on line the night you posted them but it was a little late and the screen was playing funny tricks with my tired eyes!
Anyway. I won't (obviously) be able to read them all at once, but I will get around to them bit by bit.
I have read this one and was thoroughly impressed by your descriptive ability and the images that this poem conjures - it really is an excellent piece of work.
"swimming in his own pile of flesh" - excellent....if a little dark!

All the best Darren and take care,
Ben

Very descriptive write Darren.

Your lines are quite clever, all are good, but I particulary liked 'he was safe in fixed pain and grimaces.' Very good wording.
I liked this.

Darren, this is a wonderfully beautiful yet dark piece. I like your imagery and descriptives, it makes the piece all the more readable.

Em