Confused Heart

I looked deep and straight into my own eyes
where the reflection of my childhood hanged in the balance of what persona to take.
Broken and void
empty of my own thoughts
feelings misplaced
and a heart so bruised to love another day.
I swapped my life line of love
for the one I chose to serve.
The maturity of my anger got the best of me
pride dripping off me like a broken hive
I sure could have imagined my life as a brighter star.
the thought of a better life was just but a fading shadow roaming all over
the battlefield like a witch searching for her dark powers at the entrance of purgatory.
Wish I could change this person I have become to my upgraded version of my boyhood where dreams had much more value.

The anger building inside me like a baby growing inside the womb has rendered me unfit to make decisions afraid of the consequences.
Wish I could hold you in my arms and tell you
how much I miss you
how much I love you
how much I need you
how much I want you in my life.
Then this guilt and pain would run and hide
for when am with you, everything become normal.
Fading emotions has less value
than a new booming love.
When the sun is gone and the night is dark and nowhere to find me
Then the breezes of a rushing shadows will be made whole with my soul the price of my dark life.