Yaki,

I love your short pieces as much as I love your lengthy writes. This was reminded me of my past, the idea of being mistreated in exchange for the warmth and hunger I desired. I know you and I share a lot of similarities, just as we share many differences and I find myself being able to relate to a lot of what you write. I think the only difference is your able to say the things I've not been able to say, or admit to anyone other than myself.

I liked all of the references here, the rawness of your words in the first stanza, the sensual imagery you created. However the second stanza was quite a drastic change and I think that's what worked for this poem, it was still raw and gritty but the tone was more painful. The first stanza an honest realisation, the second still had that longing to find an oasis, even though you've sought it many times. Beautiful piece sweets, I am proud of who you have become.

Mel