Could you feel me in your heart,
the night I slept upon your grave,
collecting precious moments from my memory
to try and make you real again?
I promised you before you died
that I would be strong, but instead
I think I broke your heart,
and I can't ever forgive myself for that -
and I don't expect you to forgive me now.
I was so scared that night,
everything had all blown up around me
and I needed to find safety before they found me.
I longed to smell your perfume,
to know that I was safe,
but instead I only remembered
the last time I was there-
it was then I burst into tears.
You had passed away and I couldn't cry,
because his eyes were on me-
a constant surveillance.
Still, it was unforgivable
for not saying goodbye at the cemetery,
and I broke down on your gave that night,
realising that you might always hate me.
I curled up and fell asleep
on your cold grass blanket,
I didn't want to leave you alone -
hoping that it might show you
how much I loved you and always will.
I was praying that if I stayed long enough,
no matter how wet or cold,
that you might send me a sign
to say you forgive me now.
But eventually,
in the pouring rain,
they had found me
before I found your sign.
