There was death in my heart
as life in my stomach ended.
A pregnant teenager with a secret child,
too young to know how it got there.
But right from the start,
I loved your little heart,
as I found the strength inside myself
to stay alive for the love of a child.
I'll be honest and admit that you were unwanted,
I did think about abortion,
but it never felt right to take your life away,
it felt like murder of innocence,
and I had already killed too many people in my life.
I promised to protect you,
look after you and love you,
until you saw tomorrow,
but that tomorrow never came!
No one ever saw your bump,
nor the blood trickling on the ground,
making a puddle which formed your grave.
As I drifted in and out of consciousness,
thoughts of you consumed my racing mind:
Were you breathing?
Were you real?
Were your eyes ever open?
Did you ever hear me when I whispered
little dreams and lullabies goodnight?
Tears are flooding down my cheeks,
as I remember begging God,
"please don't take my baby!"
didn't he know she was going to be my savior
from the life that I was trapped in?
It hurts so much to think of
all the days you missed out on,
all the adventures I had planned
and put inside your little book I made for you.
Did you ever know I would have loved you?
I would have given up my own life
if it meant that you could start yours.
I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough
to protect you in my womb,
but please don't hate me baby
for I love and miss you everyday,
just as much as I would have done
if God had let you stay.
