Emotions that are new to me,
Things I have never felt before,
Realizing this is really happening,
As I pack my things in school and walk out the door.
A quick message to you,
letting you know whats going on,
I thought this battle was over,
But i guess it has only just begun.
Tears slide down my face,
A quick goodbye to all my teachers and i am out,
Leaving behind everything I had finally come to love,
But not understanding what my leaving was about.
Choking back the feelings that are overwhelming,
I try to keep myself from falling apart,
I was doing great externally,
I was getting ready for a brand new start.
I look back at the memories,
not quite sure where I went wrong,
But now I am stuck to suffer alone,
Through the nights that have once again turned long.
Betrayed angry and broken,
I am not quite sure what all I feel,
Trying to convince myself this is all a dream,
But waking up everyday realizing its all completely real.
Your name echoes through my mind,
I remember these feelings from back in May,
I almost forgot what it felt like losing you so suddenly,
But I guess I lost my way.
Realizing once and for all how bad I screwed up,
I collapse on my bed in tears,
The thought of your name and the memories i remember
Remind me how much this has always been my worst fear.
Cuddling with a blanket and sleeping in your shirt,
Looking up at the starts every night,
I know that this is not how i want to live forever,
And I know that you are well worth the fight.
So once again I promise,
To keep all the promises I have once broken,
To make a difference in this relationship,
Even if no words need to be spoken.
I know I should feel more emotions,
More anger and hate toward my last place,
But every night when I close my eyes,
The only thing I see is your face.
As the stars shine through my window,
I drift to sleep with your name on my mind,
Knowing that no matter what it is I lose,
It is you I will always find.
