Comments : Waiting

  • 8 years ago

    by Liz

    Short, but still managed to make me feel a deep sense of sadness.

    • 8 years ago

      by Once an Angel

      Thank you much for reading. I played with making this poem longer, but in the end this length still felt enough, felt right. I suppose it had a case of the good old "less is more".

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This really is a very powerful little piece. I am always in awe of short pieces that can convey so much in so little space. I like, too, that this can be taken multiple ways depending on how the reader views it. Are they lost? Are they dying or simply leaving of their own choice?
    Excellent write. All the very best,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Once an Angel

      Thank you Ben for reading. I enjoyed your prospective about all the ways this poem could be taken. I appreciate when I can writing something meaningful to me, and also has potential to reach others where they are.

  • 8 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Judging comment:

    The brevity of this piece only helps accentuate the sorrow that the author wishes to convey. It reads a bit choppy, it sounds like a free-verse bordering on a spoken-word piece, each verse is more powerful than the last, until you reach the ending where it hits you like a ton of bricks.

    • 8 years ago

      by Once an Angel

      Thank you for your feedback. Yes, it wasn't intended to follow a particular kind of format. Sometimes writing freely is well, freeing. :)

  • 7 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Another wow...what a beautiful heart-gripping piece! A serene feel surrounds the piece....it being kind of choppy as Mark said...only adds to the intensity of the longing the writer has. Great write!