Comments : The Soloist

  • 8 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Maple, I love the last sentence I don't know why but this poem is beautiful and expressly perfect about how a woman feels.

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Andrea,

    upon reading the first stanza I was taken in by the enormous contained emotion in your description of her pain.

    The style reminds me of an encyclopedia reference of 'Female lament is...'

    Your use of the words Monsoon and small are effective in that they concentrate the colossal power and destruction of a monsoon into woman's passionate expression of grief that is only shown in the way she holds her subtle facial change.

    The single line draws and emphasises her 'stiff upper lip' her ability to 'soldier on' despite bearing her burden. Like a volume of torrential sea kept in a tea cup. (storm in a tea cup)

    Saving the saddest part for last - in contrast to the outer self where she shows the world how well she is, normal she is and how well she has coped is the inner dark 'confinement' a hard inner shell (cage) keeping her hurt, her pain, her 'secret' locked away for fear of a loss of control. This is who she has become a guard to the confined memories.

    Andrea, this is superb and fully deserves to be recognised.

    Nominated.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I have to agree with Michael - the impression you leave in the reader here is incredible. The first five lines are written perfectly.
    Great write and all the best,
    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Short and beautiful.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    A very captivating piece