Unfit

by Judy   Feb 17, 2016


My love for you was a tiny seed
Soon enough we grew so close
You never did let my heart bleed
Our love blossomed like a red rose

You arrived at perfect timing
My world without you was as black as night
My heart wouldn't stop aching
And you reached my hand to find the light

When you caressed my face
My cheeks were shades of red
My heart began to race
Our affection was starting to spread

Yet you left me in a place so bit
I couldn't breathe, my face so blue
My life is becoming unfit
I knew your love was too good to be true

    report violation
2


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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    A very good unforced abab rhythm throughout with a good flow

    Written well. Welcome to p&q.

    Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Judy and welcome to the site.

    A good write here with the difficult abab rhyme structure - it really is never easy to achieve without coming off as forced and you do it well here.
    Good to see some new talent join the site!
    All the very best,
    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    So sorry you had to go through this :(

    Keep your head up. "Unfit" is such a strong word and I hope you take care of yourself. My heart goes out to you. You are loved!

    Keep writing and welcome to PnQ, too!

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