Innocence lost

I am sure there is.
It's a promise, devil's promise.
I rule the Hell.

Just message me all the torments you have in your mind for him.

Brenda,
WOW.. everyone has already broken this down.. But you are an amazing poet.. im sorry this happened.. but im glad your letting it out.. i can imagine how hard it was to write this.. it pained me and i was only reading...

well done on your bravery!

love N. - hugs-

Brenda, this brought back memories for me (as you know it happened with my piece) bit I think even though this is all to relatable for many of us and brings tears to your eyes, things like these need to be addressed as unfortunately these things still happen daily.

1/ This is a powerful opening because this is what they do, oh lets pretend x, y and Z and we will be special friends, this is what I got told anyway and all we want when we're kids is friends especially when relations.

2/ In these situations we usually get told to keep it to ourselves or such and such a thing will happen and we get so scared that we do keep it for years and years because we don't want to be the reason something happened to somebody else so we would rather take the abuse.. :(

3/ This is a saddening part because we will always blame ourselves for these things that happened and we can wash and wash and wash some more but still we will be pure no more and will always feel dirty but you didn't cause anything nor did you deserve it.

4/ All I can say here so it's totally true!!

5/ This was the part that got me because we were too scared to tell anyone and it feels as if it's too late so we push it to the backs of our minds but when it comes back we imagine their smug little faces and regret not saying things and yes we will know and it'll always be in our minds.

6/ I am nodding along her because I may not believe in heaven and hell but I do believe in karma and all these horrible, vile people will get their comeuppance one day.

You brave, strong lady.
Huge hugs.
Em

I have chosen this poem as my first comment, mainly because it was rated 4.2! Then, when I read the content, I thought, how could some idiot, rate it so low!?

Anyway, your prize starts here.

The title "Innocence lost" - although this comes across as 'obvious' and tells the reader from the start what the content will probably consist of, it is somehow right that it does this. Why sugar coat, or make vague references to an awful incident? I like the matter of fact title; it screams of a misdeed that should never have been.

The first stanza, is powerful and conjures an image that is sickening. Like the title, the words spit out the deed, 'you stole' - this is personally directed at the abuser. This is powerful because of the personal need to say these words, to feel the anger, to release the rage and direct it like a missile. The word 'pretend' is the sickening part, the act of cheating a girl into thinking the abuse is just a game, something that is alright, even fun, makes me sick! Writing this makes me feel a similar anger, wants me to step back in time and save 'little you'.

It is not uncommon for the abuser to urge secrecy, and/or use emotional blackmail to keep the silence. Often, too, the abused knows that abuse has happened, knows that this is wrong and so through embarrassment the secret is kept.

Like a snowball, this knowledge builds in a young person's mind; it develops into feelings of guilt, that somehow this was 'my fault', maybe, 'I wanted this" or, maybe, "I should have said, no!' This kind of inner guilt manifests itself into feelings of 'worthlessness' 'anger' 'self-harm'. Later, this depression is masked with alcohol, drugs, food - basically, anything to nub the feeling of 'being dirty'.

Any young person with this damage will find it hard to 'fit in' to trust anyone, especially in a personal relationship. They make poor decisions and this compounds the daily agony.

For the lucky few, they grow up, they find a way of discovering that they are, after all, not guilty of anything. They in fact have a right to be angry, not at themselves, but at the abuser. They discover that the reason that they could not love/trust anyone else was because they could not love/trust themselves. Once the truth is that they are not 'dirty', that they were not at fault and that they are loveable because they believe this fully. Once this acceptance is achieved relationships are possible, the bad ones are rejected because for once, they are worth more than being treated poorly.

I like how this poem draws to an end - the statement to the abuser. It is not a threat, more a fact, that, sins will be paid for, maybe not here, but certainly in hell.

This writer is not needing retribution in the here and now, for she has moved on and can finally have a life worth living, whereas, this abuser will always have this dark mark on his consciousness.

Well done, Brenda. You are a brave soul - I am so glad you finally found your strength.

Take care,

Michael

I feel like this and my poem her is very similar. Great writing :)