My pain

This poem is good.

After viewing this write somehow I guess you have started writing recently. And I think you need to improve your writing talent. Every person struggle in the beginning so never lose the hope and keep on going with bravery.

Theme set up is good but the script is not fine as it should be.

Over all I can say it's a good write but it needs some more polishing. 5/5

Ease the pain from my head,
And the heart by stop thinking,
About all the things that make,
Me sad in the inside.

hey.
Wouldn't it be preferably when it reads.

"Ease the pain from my head,
And heart by not thinking,
About all the things that make,
Me sad in the inside."

just a thought.

I like your piece, it surely portrays the sadness you feel from inside.

Keep writing.

Shanky.

When our heart is heavy and filled with sadness it will cause pain that seems to never go away. Try and remember a time where your heart was filled with joy. Be kind to yourself and perhaps there is this one special person that understands your pain and can help you to make it somewhat easier. Think positive at least try and hopefully it will get easier in time. When I am sad and hurting I draw or write. It is a good way to express your feelings. Take care and keep writing.

Hello Lexilove,

I like the metaphor of sadness being in 'a pain in the heart'. The remedy is 'happiness' I guess the question is 'how can I become happy?' My answer is, be kind to yourself. This may seem easier said than done, but think about it for a bit. Think about what advice you would give one of your friends if they were in your shoes.

keep writing, as this is a way of releasing that pain in a creative way. It is clear you have talent and this will grow as you continue writing.

Take care,

Michael