Comments : Jesus

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    I love the layout of this piece. Powerful, intriguing and beautifully serene.
    Well done

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Whew, this poem got to me. As it being Passion week and Good Friday coming up (and Tyler Perry's live musical aired recently), a lot of emotions come up. Especially knowing in a way, we all crucified or condemned Jesus. To write this in his eyes is very powerful. And the mention of the women weeping, as well as time itself.

    Keep writing!

  • 8 years ago

    by Saerelune

    Hi sir, it's a bit late but I still had a comment for you from judging the weekly contest:

    "The starting line is a bit staggering, and I'm not sure if I mean this as a good thing or a bad thing, as full caps often give the impression of shouting. I'm not sure what the purpose of this line is, but moving on, I was pleased with what I read. The language is simple but the structure effectively builds up the right tension. I was attracted by phrases such as "the fog sets the silence in my hands" or "the time has melted away like water in the sea" (even though I think evaporate would make more sense than melting). All the imagery is tied well with elements of nature, of the sky, and I love how in the end this was concluded with the sun. Loved the ending usage of "zenith", it adds the last necessary bang without trying to be over-sophisticated. The balance of diction is nicely done in this poem."