Hello Brenda,

Marathoners beat. This unconscious rhythm had me smiling initially, but then the 'dread thoughts' of another lonely night are bitterly sad. The sweet ending Is: love enduring the restless running through the 'Marathon ' night for that closeness your heart suffers for. After all, love is not about the good times is it?

Thank you, I can relate to this.

Michael

"Love is not about the good times" - Michael

Brenda, a great piece from you again here and truly moving and I couldn't have said it better than Michael did.

Take care and all the best,
Ben

Hi Brenda,

I can definitely relate to this although it's me with the restless feet haha and him with the snoring.. What a pair!!
Good piece, I bet many can relate to. Although you have to take the rough with the smooth haven't you.
This bit 'i cling to the edge of the bed' rang true though as our youngest still sometimes sneaks into our bed and that's what we end up doing!!

Take care, Em

Nothing is so delicious as self-directed irony. The image of you clinging to the edge of the bed is delightful. The bittersweet toleration of his nocturnal stampede for the sake of maintaining solidarity with the loved one comes across as less of a burden than you put it. In fact, it appears that with your ability to laugh at it, and yourself, you have a certain nostalgia building for the nightly race.

Brenda lovely poem about the trials of your lovers feet. Oh how I can relate to that. If I don't get to sleep before mine it's impossible to get to sleep because he does the same and like you I end up knees hanging off the bed. Love the term mosh pot fray and the perfectly captured imagery in a light hearted way. Loved it Milly xx

This made me smile so much - so true! when you love someone it's amazing what you put up with - including little wriggly beings! Lovely.

This is an adorable and unique poem, undoubtedly one-of-a-kind. The rhyming scheme was splendid, and your word use definitely makes this poem spring to life, even though it might be about a topic that many of us may not have experience with (me, in particular).

The only suggestion I'd have would be to rework the punctuation on the following fourlines:

I fault him not
it's not me he sought
as his feet
ran a marathoners beat.

I would suggest putting a colon after "I fault him not", as you are describing why you aren't faulting him for this action. It also left me a bit confused, with no punctuation, as to what exactly was going on.

Anyway, great work, and I look forward to seeing more of your work!

5/5
V/r
IdTakeABulletForYou

Wow, cute little poem brenda. Rhymes perfectly. At some stage we all know what its like to sleep next to a wiggly worm in the bed. :) Well done !

Brenda a wonderful poem that I can absolutely relate to having a husband who has twitchy legs. A unique and funny approach with that bitter sweet fear of being alone at the end. Loved it. Milly xx

It is also hard to sleep when you are the one with restless legs. Sometimes my legs have a mind of their own. Walking for a good hour helps tire my legs out before bed.

Wonderful write, thanks for sharing.

A wonderful poem that I can absolutely relate to

Brenda,

This is absolutely adorable and sweet and very relatable! Well done :)

I really like this write Brenda, not easy sleeping with ones restless antics. But love pushes through :)

Michael

This really made me smile, and giggle a little.

Thank you for sharing

Awwee, hehe. I love the rhyming pattern, Brenda! ^_^
I understand how maddening those little kickers must get. My grandmother also has RLS. It's really maddening for her.
I can especially see this happening- when you just want to snuggle up to your love and be comforted by them at the end of the day. ): But I really like what Michael said, about how your love pushes past this and so I still can't help but find this poem of yours overwhelmingly sweet. :3

This made me laugh. It's sweet how positive this is. Reminds me of my late husband and his snoring.

This just made my day a lil brighter! Please keep writing! This is amazing!

My first read of yours, and I can totally relate. At least his legs are dancing. Mine throw side kicks and roundhouses. ????. Great work, thank you.