Comments : Locked in.

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Darren,

    I really like this piece. You manage to balance each world whilst drifting on a space walk, tethered to glazed portal. Your descriptions are captivating, they paint a land of eccentric bliss, a place many of us deep thinkers can relate to.

    Well done.

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 8 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Micheal

      appreciate your thoughts

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Darren

    As Michael says - and as is usual with your work - your descriptive writing and the imagery it conjures is second to none. The complete lack of punctuation adds a lovely, rolling sort of peace to this poem - it is a pleasure to read.
    Take care and I hope you are well,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Ben

      appreciate your comment

      This poem has been dancing around my head for a few days now.
      I often wonder what it would be like to enter a daydream and stay there.

  • 8 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Truly mesmerising. I loved every word and image that this poem conjured. The idea of voices tearing at your ears and ideas. Daydreams arriving via unicorn. stepping into a daydream as if it were simply through a window. The feelings of calmness found in sitting by a shimmering lake. Still water I always find calming.

    Being handed a menu of choices, yet birds already knowing decisions will be delayed
    laying in fine sand as fine as memory foam and the comment about not finding the usual fag in the sand. How many times on a summers day laying in the sand do we hear the whisper of the breeze stay here.
    closing the window on that peaceful wonderful place of daydream.
    A masterpiece of imagery beautifully portrayed

    • 8 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Milly,

      appreciate your comment

  • 8 years ago

    by Darren

    Thanks again to Ben, I have removed all trace of the word 'and'. I think this has improved this piece and it is quite rare I edit anything. Maybe I should do this more.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Hi Darren,

    I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. The imagery you put in is amazing.
    Had to have a little chuckle at the unicorn part but only because I secretly like them.

    Daydreams are very peculiar aren't they and putting them into writing well you did it great.

    Em

    • 8 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Em,

      appreciate the nomination also.

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    Darren, awesome write! Congratulations on your win!

    • 8 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Brenda

  • 8 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judge Comments:

    I truly admire Darren's creativity and intensity within this piece.

    It's written with great elegance, and with such depth...

    The metaphoric tones within each stanza has me captivated from

    Start to finish!! Just wonderful!