An emotve piece, Chris, with some very heartfelt detail. The structure of the poem is good, though to improve I would essentially suggest extending your vocabulary. This way, you engage with the reader more and deliver increasing tension. However, you have made a good effort and it should be credited. Well done :]

-Ely.

Again, a little undecided, but I usually have difficulty with poems with a rhyming stanza layout. some of your rhymes are particularly forced, like the first stanza rhyming with 'back' and 'crack.' for a poem with such sincerity, your words don't seem to be mature enough to give the sentiment justice. it's obvious you enjoy writing and you write about subjects that are special to you, but you lack the ability to articulate them with a fluent and uncliched manner. this is nothing that can't be overcome in time though, so don't let it hold you back. practice makes perfect, as they say.x

I think that you have alot to say. I can see where you are going. I do feel that it was somewhat cliche, but perhaps due to the need to stay within the rhyme scheme. I would love to see something free style, straight from your heart without the confines of rhyme. I can feel your emotion but it feels to tightly constrained.

Nice job on this one.. it has really great flow and it uses simple words to show strong feelings.. i tend to write the same way.. i love your style of writing in this poem

Really nice poem

A hearfelt write but I find with rhyming poems they tend to come out a bit forced. Freestyle quite often allows one to let loose and I think this one would grasp the reader better if you didn't have to worry about word selection. Nonetheless a good job!

Alright job on the rhyming, overall the poem felt cliched to me, there was nothing special in it to make me differentiate it from the hundreds just like it that I've read in the past(I've written some too). Good start with the rhymes though. There was one time that I thought that the rhyme was a little off in these two stanzas:

i honestly love you,
many times this was said.
and i will continue to love you,
until i am dead.

but still you hurt me,
you yanked my heart,
and then you ran,
like a flying dart..

They just feel, I don't know, I guess corny is the best word for them. Keep writing, keep improving!

Hmmm i realy liked it the flow war perfect but the thirs stanza was kinda confuzing but nice job =] 5/5

Love it.
It shows how love isn't always good. Thank you for gracing me with this fantastic read!

~Ally