Bastard child - The slam edition

1. The first time I told him I didn't want him he said I had daddy issues.
well even my issues have issues
but my father let too many years pass between phone calls so at least I can say he was telling the truth.

2.he said that women like me, play hard to get but are easy to sleep with.
No Kanye West but he swore I was a golddigger, he told me his penis was big, I said great but my dreams are bigger....

3. The last time a man touched me,
he asked if I came..women are conditioned to feed egos and I am not one to hurt people so I said yes...

But after that night,
I learned that there was no pleasure in faking it

So I, I came indeed,
I came clean of the shame I used to feel
for not wanting anyone to love me
I regret that

I came to make peace with a body I once hated more than anything else in the world

Yes, I came and I came
cause I never forget to come, but i often forget to leave and my heart became an SD card that carries too many memories,
got so many stories that bite and I don't wanna slow down no system

I use to think that my double d's would
always mean I could get what I wanted..
and I wanted ...
I wanted to come alright...

come to terms with my own existence
come to forgive my dad for cheating on his wife, for reducing the woman who raised me alone to a side chick
for making my mama just another
woman who fell in love with somebody who already had somebody else..

...I look into the blue eyes of my father's wife, I look into the green ones of my mother ... I look into the coffee brown of my own...how the only thing these three eyes have in common is that they know
what liars men can be..

and I remember that I am the walking manifestation of cheating, the blueprint and the proof...that once upon a time a man forgot his wedding ring and a woman forgot her morals...

Are you coming?
He asks me for the last time, and I say yes...
I am coming for everything no one thinks a bastard child should have..