Comments : Wilted

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Michael,
    Your words are like a soft breeze whispering such beauty in my ears. Powerful and emotional, left me with Goosebumps.

    My heart is deserted
    without the grace of your
    presence.
    Unable to cleanse the
    scent of your tender
    essence.
    ^^
    Great opening stanza, shows that you have been heart broken. The words you use show this was a long relationship because you cannot cleanse their scent, the memories and it's hard to when their was such good times.

    The lonely silence
    broken by your voice in my
    mind.
    An unwanted vacancy you left
    behind.
    ^^^
    This is powerful. The imagery.. I can see you standing their going mas because of the voice, her voice in your head keeping you from carrying on like most lovers. You are now (vacant) empty because she has left yet the voices say otherwise. Nicely done.

    A wilting sunflower, I stand lame
    without the warmth of your
    beam.
    My petals weep tears
    down a drying
    stream.
    ^^^
    I like how the sunflower is representing you here somewhat wilting because of lost love. The sunflower wilting because it has no sun and you wilting because you have no warmth from your love. The metaphors in this stanza are amazing, you use them well. The petals weeping like you would for a lover that has gone.

    I yearn for your river
    to flow back and
    nourish.
    Your gentle glimmer
    for my heart to
    flourish.
    ^^
    This stanza I like the most as you cannot go on without your lady by your side. The river representing love.

    A wonderful write as always.

    Em

    • 8 years ago

      by Michael

      Wow! Em, how amazing you have read my poem as it's written. Lovely for you to take the time and gently break down and spot on with my emotions expressed in my poem. Thank you kindly

      Michael :) x