Comments : For you

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Brenda,

    As I said in my pm, I'm going away for the day today, but what the heck, I thought I'd give this a quick read and comment anyway!

    This is a topic that is actually quite near to me. My wife never sees her blood father anymore for reasons you touch upon in this (partly anyway) - he always seemed to give her brother more attention and all but ignored her. Any attention he did give was when he was being horrible to her.
    Luckily, it didn't affect her relationship with her brother but it has certainly affected her down the years.
    I don't think I will ever understand parents who treat the biggest gifts they will ever receive like this. What's really sad, as you write, you can spend so many years trying to please them and get their attention and then you realise: that was never your job; it should come without you having to beg for it and the fault is actually theirs.

    All the very best, Brenda,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Ben, it is so sad when your parents treat you in such a manner. I never have understood it either. I feel horrible for your wife having to endure that, I know with my friend it just destroys her every time. She always thinks she did something wrong, which in the case is not true at all. My ex is like that, he feels that it's his kids responsibility to come to him, one daughter does, the other chooses not too. He loves them on his terms which I never understood, probably never will, always a price tag with his affections, so sad. I wish your wife well and I'm glad you are in her life to remind her everyday it's not her, it's him.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Brenda, a heartfelt piece and extraordinary write

    It makes me feel at one with this piece as all my other half's family don't like me and have literally disowned my children because of it which is absurd.

    Take care, Em

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Em, I am so sorry you have to endure this pain and the fact your children are treated so poorly too is awful! I just don't understand people at all! I realize everybody doesn't get along with everybody but this is your other half's people, they should at least respect the fact that he loves you and chose you to spend his life with, have children with, jeez! People seriously make me crazy sometimes! Plus to treat your kids poorly, aarrrgghhhh! Sorry, I'm frustrated, lol! Please take care, draw your strength from your little ones and live your life despite the negative haters. Brenda

  • 8 years ago

    by Mayday

    I really think it's quite sweet how you put yourself right in their shoes but it's just really sad - I think the relationship with your father is one of the most important relationships you'll ever have in your life...it determines a lot and I think you got that down pretty well. I wish your friend the best
    and thank you for your comment!

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much! I agree with how important a father is in a child's life. Some people should not be parents, especially the way they treat their children. Take care-Brenda

  • 8 years ago

    by Maricris

    You have beautiful write, nicely penned. Glad I saw it and it moved me. My dad passed away when I was still 12 and its hard really being raised with just a mother with no father in the family. Thank you, Brenda.

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Thank you so much! I too lost my dad when I was young, it's not easy that's for sure, then you have parents who treat their kids like crud and it just confuses me.

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Brenda,

    fathers play such an important roll in a young life, so much so that this will often affect the adult their whole life through.

    My father - well, he's gone and good riddens - 'nough said!

    Well done for writing this for another person - I like trying to get into another mind and tell a story. You've done a great job and I love the format!

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 8 years ago

      by Brenda

      Michael, thank you! A parent/child relationship can be rather tricky. It can follow all the way through adulthood, and have lasting implications as apparent from your comments. I'm sorry it wasn't the best for you. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Take care-Brenda