Comments : The Cockatrice and the Pharaoh's Barge

  • 8 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    "I have looked upon the Cockatrice and survived"
    Colonel Rogachev
    Footfall by Niven & Pournelle

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Larry,

    well done on this creative piece. I know how it feels to have an idea and work on it to completion.

    I am sure you are please on the win, I know I am pleased for you.

    'O ill-dispersing wind of misery!
    O my accursed womb, the bed of death!
    A cockatrice hast thou hatch'd to the world,
    Whose unavoided eye is murderous.'
    ^
    From Shakespeare's play, Richard III.

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Firstly I'd like to say congratulations on the win, how I missed this is I do not know.

    A very creative, beautiful piece full of imagery. Each piece of yours get better.

    Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    Congratulations on your win-deep intense poem.

  • 8 years ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    Another poem that stood out for me.
    Such kiplingesque narrative, such detail and tongue twisting
    fab scene setting. Just one of those poems that I wish I had written.
    I also salute the use of punctuation. Too many of us don't use it because we don't know how.
    A well placed comma trumps any poorly used adjective. 7 points.

    • 8 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Thank you, Darren. To call this piece Kiplingesque is praise enough, but you added in the very thing I always anguish over most: punctuation. Thank you, again.

  • 8 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judge Comments:

    The title alone deserves 10 points :-)
    This poem is just incredible by Larry this week. I was so blown away when he posted this.

    Its rhythmic in it's graceful format and style and it held me captivated from start to finish.

    It's not very often that you read a poem within the Egyptian times, mixed with a mythical creature, with two heads... That is why I said the title stands in high regards!

    It doesn't matter to me if this was meant to be a metaphoric piece or as is... the message is brilliant and I am in complete awe!