by Lune de ma vie Apr 15, 2016
category :
Special events /
wedding
Twelve strikes chime in under the chaos of stars, |
by Saerelune
"This poem is a nice combination of magic and reality. The first two stanzas feel very surreal, they have some sort of classical vibe with all the stars and the moon creating ethereal imagery. I thought the transition to more realistic imagery was done very cleverly. The first line o the third stanza states: "Memories storm my mind", storm being the keyword of a more exaggerated verb that fits the classical vibe I was talking about before. But this "storm" fits perfectly well with the "flashes" and the "camera", subtly growing into something more personal: the seaplane, the lighthouse, the picnic. Truly divine, but also very intimate if you know what I mean. I loved the transition to the "chestnut chocolate eyes" too, it's all very romantic yet genuine at the same. Each stanza seems to add another spark to the poem, but not to the extent that things get over the top. Well done." |
WOW dude! |
by Rsan
Excellent writing with very detailed imagery you created and the other parts are just as excellent' |
by Ben Pickard
This really is an exquisite piece of detailed writing from you that left me feeling for you immensely. |
by Em
This is beautiful and as Maher said how's it's been missed I'll never know. |