Comments : Expanse

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    A very vivid piece full of raw emotion that shouts out to me because i have been there but I will not say I understand because each of us fight a different battle.

    The skies were illuminated
    by the blinding radiance
    of the celestial emissaries descending;
    The clouds could only flee in dread,
    as the angels tore holes
    in the fabric of space.
    ^^
    I love the imagery here of clouds fleeing because of angels tearing pieces out of space and I believe this is because of all the hatred within the world today. It makes me so sad to think of it.

    The Earth shook endlessly;
    All buildings around us crumbled,
    and the shattered souls of all of humanity
    were swept up within divine winds:
    as millions of corpses
    dyed the earth crimson,
    to the tunes of children crying.
    ^^
    Omg this made my heart ache. Yes, the world is playing to the time of children's cries because that's all they know to do with the way the world s shaping out. Again, the imagery is vivid and very dark yet quite tranquil n a way.

    Twelve-winged demigods
    stared down on the cataclysm
    they wished upon the world beneath,
    as the Fall of Man became providence.
    ^^
    Wow demigods wishing the worm would become better is a really good image because we are as humans all falling the earth with fighting etc.

    And so they lifted Arks from the earth,
    and built a firmament in the skies above -
    to separate us from the cosmos;
    to protect the infinite expanse,
    to protect all possible worlds imaginable,
    from our senseless destruction
    and our addiction to cruelty.
    ^^
    Again, lovely images here of the gods separating their world and ours to kind of save themselves from the infinite.

    For the War against Heaven
    could never involve the spawns of Hell
    shaped like monstrosities and behemoths;
    like massive leviathan and red dragons:
    when it has always been We
    who are the demons
    ^^
    No heaven could never include the people of today and it's a sad truth because as I say the earth was ripe and we have picked and picked at it, making is erode away.

    And it's always been the Earth
    that is the lowest circle of Hell
    ^^
    Very truthful ending.

    Beautifully written, Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    Kakera is another poet who takes you on a journey with her writing, sometimes that journey is a little dangerous and twisted, but it works in this case.
    Love the 'as the angels tore holes in the fabric of space'
    very creative.
    This poem is very dark and full of destruction and death, it needs reading loudly to appreciate it to the full. An easy pick for 4 points.