Stranger in my own Skin

by Hellon   Apr 23, 2016


In the still of night
a shrill scream
just one
then...hush.

Morning dawns,
zombie like motions...green eyes I don't recall
stare at a face that's not mine.

Trembling fingers
lather skin that's too tanned.
The tattoo...
surely not mine?

but wait..

fog clearing,
for a moment at least
...the needle...

FOCUS! FOCUS!

head thumping
clouds return,
pictures flash
but elude...

Hair colour wrong, style perfect but...

but what?
not mine.

Cold tiles on damp skin.
Sliding slowly down
I crouch
tasting salt.

Panic mounts,
heart pounding I scream
"Who am I?"

FOCUS! FOCUS?

The Needle.....

@Hellon 25th June 2008

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Hi hello

    Gotta say this is a killer write, i love how it looks and your vocabulary is perfect, I think alot of people can identify with it and I jist love your "voice" in it.

    I wish I could've nominated this.

    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Love this. The descriptions are wonderfully done, the imagery, the form itself.. Just everything about it. The fear really shines through.
    Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Hellon,

    I love the form. It seems this poem from 2008 has a style that I have appreciated and used many times recently. It works well to hold a readers interest, the short lines, the use of punctuation, the spacing, the rhyme, dialogue and CAPITAL letters.

    The fear is well described throughout, screaming, Zombies, green eyes, trembling fingers, I could go on...

    I think the fear of needles is a common one, so adding this to the general fear in this piece adds value. I must admit, I am unsure what the poem is about. Is it about needle phobia, a tattoo parlor, or perhaps confused identity of some description?

    Anyway, I love the tension and the way you lead the reader to 'The Needle...' trailing off suggest more to be said, but what...

    Take care,

    Michael

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