Comments : These things happen

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello

    I like this. Excellent rhythm and rhyme throughout.
    Take care
    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I feel the struggle to find yourself here.... and I feel it is something many can relate to, going somewhere but feeling lost still. There's a change here, in you, in your life and it will always have an impact on you.

    • 8 years ago

      by donk2ymouth

      While I appreciate that I was able to illicit an in-depth analysis from your point of view that you found relatable to yourself, I have to be honest and admit this was a 1 off writing piece simply trying an exaggeratedly short-handed style to my older works because I have a voice in my head that tells me every time I post that I'm way too damn wordy and need to drop the fluff.

      It was more of a smug in-my-own-face writing exercise
      but thank you

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Love this.the imagery, descriptive and flow are perfect. The shirt sharp sentences make it go nicely.

    i'd like to shed the dirt and start anew
    ^^
    The imagery here is amazing. Wouldn't t be cool if we could just shed skin and that be the end of our pains.

    a place of paradise, a place of peace
    a place of goodness, free from grief
    ^^
    Now wouldn't this be great? If you find the place be sure to tell me all about it :)

    Great write, Em

    • 8 years ago

      by donk2ymouth

      Technically speaking, i don't think i'd be able to communicate with those who hadn't found the place i had in mind in this one....thanks for the comment...appreciated as always

      and just a small note - please dont worry i'd do anything dangerous...this is just art