Wow! This is really dark and intense! Extreme vivid imagery.

Hello Christy

I'll make a couple of points about this piece, both positive and negative. I'll get the bad out the way first!
This isn't a pleasing write for me to read personally, simply because I am aware how much you are and have been suffering recently - indeed, for a while now, so it upsets me to think you are feeling this low.
As far as the actual poem is concerned, I always quite like these unpolished little writes as they come from the heart which is what poetry is all about.
What was most hard-hitting was the acknowledgement of the joy felt when cutting so deep and feeling such pain - more joy, perhaps, than had been felt before.

Keep your head up Christy and pm me whenever,

All the very best
Ben

This is very deep and straight coming from the heart. Cutting is a type of self mutilating that supposedly help dealing with the pain. It's heartbreaking. Take care of yourself and be blessed. People do love you.