Comments : I Changed my Mind

  • 8 years ago

    by Brenda

    Oh I love this! So sweet and so made me laugh just visualizing it. Well done-

    • 8 years ago

      by Everlasting

      Haha I'm glad. thank you for commenting.

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello, I like the format a lot.

    The onomatopoeia words breathe life and a sense of freedom as the fruit escapes; much like the ginger bread man. Alas like life the adventure is cut abruptly short!

    Well done.

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Lucero

    You are possibly the most weird and wonderful writer on this site who displays constant originality and a real "I will write what I want" kind of mentality that shines through the page.
    In all honesty, I don't always know what to make of it, but sometimes your experiments end in brilliance. Originality in art can only come with experimentation and an "I don't care" attitude.
    As to this poem. Again, I was left dumbfounded by it upon first read - especially the "nevermind" end (although I laughed constantly throughout) but reading through two or three times, I couldn't help but be impressed.
    The layout compliments the piece; the onomatopoeia works well as Michael points out and the "nevermind" end seems to sum this write up nicely - but also, you as a poet: Damn what others think.

    Excellent,

    Ben

    ps - surely, this should be in the funny section? lol

    • 8 years ago

      by Everlasting

      Lol I can't help but chuckle when reading your comment. Thank you. I'm just weird lol. I am mean who falls in love with the word weird by failing a test just because the word weird was unknown to her persona?

      *raises hand*

      oh and yes, definitely, it should be in the funny section except that I had second thoughts. When I read the poem again, I couldn't help but feel sad about the watermelon. A sweet bitter or bittersweet ending. To not be in any dilemma, miscellaneous was the best option.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Perfectly unique.

    Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Luce, this is great!
    You would certainly not be able to appear on the same circuit as Gallagher, you would have to be careful of his mallet.
    But seriously, I had to laugh when I read it. :8-)

    • 8 years ago

      by Everlasting

      Lol, I just watched one youtube video of Gallagher, he seems to smash everything. O_O

      definitely, I would have to watch out for his mallet.