I always adore your work, this piece especially is amazing, you speak of some "things" that most writers wouldn't want to acknowledge that easily. This is a brave write and it's beautiful as well.

Yakari, as Moa said I to look forward to your work because it's brutally honest and personal well I feel this piece is (I doubt it's on people watching lol)

1.
Someone had just jumped in front of the train I was in when you called.
I felt everything beneath my feet
my heart was trying to catch its breath.
'may angels lead you in' I whisper to myself. The train stops for two whole hours. A woman cries hysterically, two girls tell her its okay.
^^
Wow, this is a very powerful beginning. I haven't witnessed this myself but one of my friends drives for a train company down here and has had a fatality twice. It's something that happens alot here, someone I know jumped under a train and left his 1 week old baby behind, it's so sad and it can bring back many memories of things.

2.
my eyes get watery as I think of my childhood. I think of your mental absence and your violent presence. think of my father, of the last time I saw him.
I question when was the last time someone showed consideration and accountability for the way they hurt me.
^^
So many times things bring back memories. It's strange how the 1st and 2nd 'pieces' fit so abundantly in a good way though for the piece not for real if that makes sense. Abuse in any way is horrific but the mind control is worse as I don't think those scars heal.

3.
Someone wants to love me. I dodge her messages. I tell myself other women
won't cure my mommy issues.
I run after someone I want to love.
she dodges me. its forbidden ground.
I'm a walking contradiction.
^^
It's quite ironic that after being hurt we can't let people love us when they want to love us yet when we want to love, it's forbidden in that sense. No one can take that mum role even if the role isn't fulfilled properly.

4.
I send kisses over what's app to a married man. We talk about haram thoughts. He is Muslim. I think he's a woman inside. I only believe in universal vibration. I try to forgive myself for lusting. He says I am kind. says I am funny. I feel appreciated for once.
^^
This is the deepest part of this. It's always hard to love the right person and when we have been hurt our whole lives we always seem to chose wrong. Though, appreciation from anyone is good sometimes whether bad for us or not.

5.
my hair validates my beauty too often.
to the point I don't feel like anything when I tie it up. One of these days, I might shave it off.
^^
Wow this I'd such a sad and honest part. I love your hair but yeah many men feel a ladies hair makes her more beautiful.
I had hair to my bum last year now it's just growing back as I did actually shave it for Macmillan cancer support and at first I hated it because it was a big part of me but now I realise its nothing.

All the best, Em

This is really good, very raw, very deep. Sometimes its really hard to look at ourselves that deeply. You've done so and wonderfully with this write. Well done-

Yakz...I know you love randomness so...can I just comment on this because it's you 501 poem and I just love Levi 501's...wear them all the time they're great but..hey, the poem's not to bad either :)

Every wheat ferments, for good brew. In Time and place, relevance counts.