I love you (mondoka)

by Mr. Darcy   May 28, 2016


1-1 dialogue

my words are released
to you across the blue sea;
so far, an ocean apart...

on the foreign breeze
your tender "phrase" raises me
blowing kisses to my heart.

michael
2016

Sedoka 5-7-7-5-7-7 Composed of two sets of 5-7-7 (similar to two katauta). Frequently in the form of mondoka ("dialogue poem"?) or an exchange between lovers

4


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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Haha Ben. I'm wondering where he's gone though. Hope he's ok :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Michael, I'm not sure how I missed this one, but I did! It is beautifully written.
    I would go into a little more depth but I fear I am trespassing on you and Em lol :)))

    Take care and come back soon man!

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Haha I'm not even going there, I know what you're like ;)

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Michael, I have heard of this form but never really seen it in action till now so thanks for posting and the footnote.

    my words are released
    to you across the blue sea;
    so far, an ocean apart...
    ^^
    Such a beautiful opening of what i feel lovers being separated by distance and this person sending sweet whispers to their lover and hoping it will reach them across oceans. Love the imagery, wouldn't it be great if this happened?

    on the foreign breeze
    your tender "phrase" raises me
    blowing kisses to my heart.
    ^^
    Lovely ending that the lovers words have reached them and risen them with a lovely feeling in their heart, probably other feelings too lol.

    Beautiful as always. Em

    • 8 years ago

      by Mr. Darcy

      Em, don't get me started! Lol

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Michael, I have heard of this form but never really seen it in action till now so thanks for posting and the footnote.

    my words are released
    to you across the blue sea;
    so far, an ocean apart...
    ^^
    Such a beautiful opening of what i feel lovers being separated by distance and this person sending sweet whispers to their lover and hoping it will reach them across oceans. Love the imagery, wouldn't it be great if this happened?

    on the foreign breeze
    your tender "phrase" raises me
    blowing kisses to my heart.
    ^^
    Lovely ending that the lovers words have reached them and risen them with a lovely feeling in their heart, probably other feelings too lol.

    Beautiful as always. Em