Vulnerable times... (Syntuit)

His grief was too much,

^^

Someone once told me that you should not personify in short forms so I would try to emiminate the 'him' as your first word.

like a slashed pomegranate

I've probably used the word like in the past but...I really don't 'like' it..not poetic I feel?

exposing raw flesh

^^

This line was just slightly predictable...just a bland statement to finish it off...just my thoughts, of course...

Hello Michael

I loved this when I first read it and love it now.
The word usage is wonderful throughout this little piece and the word "slashed" even brings the idea of possible slashed wrists to mind.
The poem doesn't necessarily point to suicide - more a metaphor for grief itself - but it is so well written that the connotations could be taken either way.
"his grief was too much"
^^

You certainly read this thinking that it could all end in suicide and, as above, the use of the word "slashed" adds to that idea and the "exposing raw flesh"

Sorry, this is all a bit rambling but I have read it in a new and deeper light today.

Grief often is like this - it cuts you to the quick and exposes the raw, fleshy insides, as it were and your simile for it being like a slashed pomegranate is excellent. But still, it could be taken either way. Anyway, dark however you look at it!

Take care Michael.

ps sorry for the entirely unstructured ramble again - put it down to musings on a page!

Michael, excellent usage of words to form this senyru. So much imagery in this brief wording. Wonderful! You are always knocking these different styles right out of the ballpark. Take care -Brenda

Michael, this is truly wonderful but so sad.
I can feel the grief of this person (not sure if personal) and the whole extended metaphor fitted well.

Take care, Em